disappointed

[sigh]
nothing turned out like i hoped it would. i waited and nothing happened.
why did i expect things to happen when i know they wouldn't have given the nature of the other person
why did i even bother

i'm disappointed in that person and myself for waiting
and for not speaking out.
that's the problem. [sigh]
everything seems so troublesome
maybe i ought to just quit

ocean ave

ever since middle school i had a nice memory of ocean avenue. i would know where all the stores are and which ones have changed and which ones have not. but today it has all changed. all the fond memories at certain stores are a little depressing because those stores aren't there any more.
i can't go back to the past and i cannot revisit because they are no longer there
it brought me a little bit down today
the sad ness of it all

woot~ a poem!

can't take any steps forward
too late to take any steps back
i'm stuck in the middle
with nowhere to go
what am i to do now
where am i to turn
you won't listen
when i try to speak
there's no way to reach you
no way to get through
i fear for me and you
what's going to happen
i'm not certain anymore
when i can't take any more steps
to go back or towards to future
i'm stuck in the middle
without a path to take
i'm stuck in the middle
without a guiding light

????

where do i go from here?
where do we go from here?

am i ready to take that step again?
or should i just wait a while?

[sigh]

i feel broken
where it can't be fixed
there's a big fat gapping hole
where it used to exist

my heart subducted and took me along with it
burned me into tiny pieces
until there is none of me left
no more to feel
no more to give

good times

-_-

why must i be the strong one, i can't always help when you're down in the dumps. having all these burdens upon me are really hard on my body and mind. why can't you just look at your own problems and deal with them on your own? you have your own mind and can make your choices, so do something about them.
don't just complain and just sit there without fighting to live your life the way you want.

i don't want to be a rug any more -_-;

situations

i'm thinking the best way to deal with them is to keep my mouth shut. that way i don't have to deal with questions later. if i do help out . . most of the time my advice is wrong so there's no point in adding my two cents.
i guess i'm running away if you look at it that way
which is rather sad
but it's not like i did anything like what i said earlier before
most of the time i would just stand around like a piece o rice
which is also sad by itself

=)

it's just the littlest things that get me
that make me happy
and then the bombs that burst them into smithereens
and make them into a pounding head ache
but the memories still lasts