to you who i no longer speak to

I’ve been contemplating as to whether to write you this letter but I suppose I owe you some sort of reason even though you didn’t think you owed me anything but rather a weak excuse the last time we met.

You were silent when we met, perhaps you knew you had at least done something wrong. People who are unaware of what they have done usually behave as though nothing is wrong. But you couldn’t even look me in the eyes and I could barely stare at you because of what I felt.
But it can’t really be fixed now since your weak excuses do not explain your actions.
But it’s very nice of you to spare one measly hour out of your busy schedule to see us. I guess that’s all you think we deserve
But it is what it is.

It’s not as though I haven’t been trying to contact you. I thought that maybe it would be easier to text you since the last phone call was left unanswered. But foolish me didn’t know you didn’t have text anymore. That left me hurt since I got no reply so I stopped but texted again, but I got nothing back.
I only found out you had none today…or rather, the last time we met from another friend. How am I supposed to know anything if you don’t tell me. you should know that I hate confrontations, being able to please someone is what I do. So it’s easier for me to write this all out rather than to say it in person.
So all I could do was complain to others.
But what has been eating me inside is why didn’t you try? Truth be told: I don’t like people who are too busy for their friends.

The thing is, I always find out things indirectly about you. Being your friend I thought you might tell me directly, instead of waiting two weeks to a month to tell me or not telling me at all.
So I had to go to other sources to find out since I haven’t heard from you for so long and got worried.
I must confess that everything I find out about you is from other people or your xanga.
[sigh] the silly online blog – you can waste a few minutes posting on that blog rather than leaving your long time friends a message. Sad indeed
curious me went through your blog and saw this little excerpt in the about me section stating that you feel that your coworkers understand you better than your own friends.

quite a blow to the heart, don’t you think?

If you wanted your friends to understand you better than perhaps you should have tried talking to us, communication works two ways and if you don’t tell us anything then how can we understand you ?
It has plagued my restless nights as to why you should say such a thing.
But perhaps you’re right. I don’t understand you. Maybe I don’t even know you and maybe I never will since people change and you don’t tell me anything at all
So farewell to you and this so called friendship.
I hope you all the best and hope we might never meet again under broken silence.

It’s very callous of my of telling you this way but at least I’m leaving you with something rather than nothing.

crappy days

even though i could be having the best days there's always something that ruins it
it could just be a mean customer here
or a unnecessary and inappropriate comment there
it would be better if i could get over that crappy moment but that rarely happens
why is that?

why can't we focus on the good things that happened in our day and forget about that one little bad thing?
why must we emphasis the bad more than the good?

or it is just me
because i'm already broken and weird like that