Babies

Babies are such curious creatures
They can't talk and they squirm a whole lot

I must admit that mothers are great since they have to hold their child for long periods of hours
I couldn't even do it for one hour
but then again, it's not like I have strong arms

I don't know if I'll ever have a child of my own
they are rather troublesome creatures
and it's only fun for a few hours, not sleepless nights

but who knows
we'll see
maybe

no more tears

em okay
so there's a 90% possibility that I'm going to go to Japan
since Cathy managed to get some money in a "legal" way as she says
(sigh)
I can't wait >.<
I want to go so bad
Now all we have to do is go meet up with the agent and discuss where to go and the fare price and whatnot
>.<
can't wait
so excited
nyaha =3

no lies but truths

I woke up today crying
I didn't know it yet but one of my many dreams had been crushed
I could not stop it
It was out of my hands
The fates have judged that this was one path that I was not to take


and another thing
I hate it when customers mumble and expect you to hear them
or when they point wildly and expect you to know what they are pointing at
or they say that another store has it
well mister/missy this isn't that store that you mentioned
this is my store and I don't have what they have
if you want what the other store wants then go to that other store
don't complain to me just because we don't carry it
different stores work differently

System Restore

Just great...
system restore
I couldn't even access my files to back up anything
It's 4 in the morning and I'm just downloading stuff back but my computer is pretty much empty
I'm contemplating on whether to just go ahead and buy the HP2140 [sigh]
It's not as though I do anything important on the computer anymore these days
But what really bums me out is that I couldn't save my work =_=
All those work from school and I don't have any of it!
I probably have some hardcopies lying around somewhere but it's just the not same because there are the prototypes and then the semi finished types
I don't have all of them

omg... I don't even have any of my important forms
[sigh] this sucks =_=

and all those images I ever had... some of them are in photobucket but not all of them
All the banners I have ever made

and no musics either [sigh]

I can get it again but it's just so troublesome
TROUBLESOME I TELL YOU

but I'll live...hopefully

Habits

Habits are rather hard to break these days

I guess it's because I do it a lot to my mother where I hug her and kiss her on the cheek

But today I was.. I guess... comforting my friend when I saw that she still had the picture of her baby on the phone

I hugged her and kissed her on the cheek

After a while I felt kind of weird...

Was it too much? because seriously... we have only know each other for... 6 or so months.

But I guess it was okay...

Even so... habits. They die hard...

But it's okay. No big deal I suppose haha >.>

 

But it's a wonder how she can still look at that picture of a child that she will never hold and carry it around with her

[sigh]

 

They are strong =)

Strangers?

How much trust do we put into the friends that we make?

How much information are we willing to share?

 

If we don't share that much information does this mean we don't trust the other person?

Are we scared that they would use that information against us?

But if they do that can we actually call that person a friend?

 

Making friends is when we open a part of ourselves and let another person in

Can we call that person a friend when they use us just for their own benefit and when we confront them they turn the tables and try to blame us

Can we call that person a friend when they charge us for favors

Can we call that person a friend when they are more like a baby rather than a grown adult

 

Who can we call friends

Who can we call acquaintances

If we can't call them anything, can we just call them strangers?

 

Can we still call them strangers even though we have been through so much

Can we call them strangers when they hold a part of themselves back?

Can we feel betrayed when we learn information when they are not willing to share?

Can we say the same for ourselves?

Have we been open to them?

 

Who are we really?

Are we defined by the relationships we have?

Do we jump in with both feet or hold ourselves back ?

possibilities

so bored these days and everyone is off doing something or the other

 

there is a possibility that i will be able to go to Japan in late July or Early August

but of course i am not going to go alone

that would be scary

 

as long as it is going to be with people i enjoy to hang out with

then it will be worth while

 

and of course i need to save some monies

Happy Belated =D

an outing with the girls even though something something i don't want to say
cathy was too distracted with her book and missed her stop
we had to wait 40 or so minutes for her
what a pooper

so instead of going to pacific catch
we went to ten, where we originally planned to go
so ... yay for that at least haha

the birthday girl =D we got her a cake...albeit late
but at least we got her something ^^
and she doesn't usually >.>




my unadon so good >.<
and the box was so cute
i want one for myself
what am i going to do with it?
eat my rice out of it and perhaps bring my lunch in it =D



susan's tempura udon
she didn't like it because everything was mushy
but that's what you get when you get tempura udon mixed together
it's still good though =X



the uh... chicken katsu for dany
i didn't try it. maybe i should have. but i was already full

cathy's katsudon
still didn't try it since the meat was way salty
maybe it's because mostly the tastes of the other people who frequent this restaurant and need more flavor to the meat
or maybe the cooks added a bit too much salt
who knows

but it was all good =D
and the hostess was really kind to us
she even joked if she could have some cake
we gave them 1/4 of the cake =D
they were so nice >.<

after that we took the bus to dany and susan's house to watch a bit of death race =3
it was a nice day

even mary didn't say anything bad when we got to the house =X

rare indeed haha jk

dirty toilets

what is wrong with people these days where they have to mess up a public toilet just for the fun of it, or so it seems

they think they are the only ones who use the bathroom and mess it up
they piss on the floor
poop stains on the seat
foot prints on the seat
paper everywhere

they use the bathroom to relieve themselves of other things besides waste

why!?
why must they do this
it's beyond gross

do they do this at home?
on their own toilet?

people have no common courtesy and they expect us to be nice to them

it's not like we check the bathroom every hour on the hour and follow which person can aim well and clean up after themselves and those who cannot
we expect people to be clean!
we expect people to be decent human beings
we expect people to be nice and courteous
we expect a lot of things
but in reality, they are not. they are disgusting creatures
who care about no one but themselves

problems

running away from my problems is not the answer but i can't help but do it

it's the coward's way
but it's easier and i don't have to deal with the stress and the anxiety
any sign of the problem starting then i disconnect myself from it all
and i don't have to even think about it anymore

sharing is caring?

people share things with people they care about
the amount of sharing is the level of amount of caring
so the people who no longer share things no longer care about certain people anymore?

where did all these connections go
when did the rank fall out of place into nothingness?




another thing
people would do things with one person but won't do it with another
inadvertently they are pushing the other away
and unintentionally hurting feelings just because of the things they are doing or not doing

do we have to speak out to catch the friend's attention
or do we just blend into the background and pretend that it never happened

but whatever, it's your call
i wish to not care but i can't help it since everyone is somewhere where i can't reach them

so depressing

i want to go somewhere and maybe i should but i can't afford to =_=

perhaps i should really go through with that teaching job in korea
[sigh]

i feel lonely
even though people are but a phone call away they never really pick up


but then again
i want to run away and disappear for a while
then i wouldn't have to worry about relationships and connections
and be carefree with less stress on the brain

but i can't
unfortunately

or maybe i can
but i fear to

no motivation

Thinking of You, C+B

what is it like to push and scream and never hear him cry?
after all that careful planning and pain what is there left to feel?
what is to be done with all those hopeful planning for the future only to know that it will never come?
what is there to say between the couples when memories plague their every moment?
what is there to say when i don't know your pain?
what is there to say when i don't know what it's like to lose something of my own flesh and blood?

can it ever be the same?
can we still laugh and cry the same?
can we still look at that room and think of him of what he could have been?

can we only cry and not move on?
what is to be done from now on?

but i know you are still strong. you can overcome this

envy

so sad
the knit has been to japan and i haven't
didn't i already write this?

but today i cammed with sophia and saw melinda and [sigh]
i want to hang out in a foreign place
so jealous >.<

but it's all good i guess >.>

but it's just nice talk to them again =D
good times

but so bored without them here D:
i have no life
i just invade into other people's houses without their consent
or they have to give their consent because i bribe them with food
i get many people fat that way haha [included myself]

[sigh] i want to go somewhere
and soon

Dirty Cash

okay maybe not dead anymore because ucoz is being a pos
it's been a while and nothing new has been going on
i'm the same old person with the same old problems
and possibly surrounded by the same old people

another note is
KFC is coming out with KGC- grilled chicken that is
so much fuss and lots of misplaced things
and meetings in the wee hours of the morning, according to me at least


what else?
i've been stalling doing my paperwork to go to korea
i'm just lazy and janey, my contact, is really nice and keeps calling to check on me but [sigh] i'm just not into so many paperwork !
i have to get things apostilled or notarized or whatever
get a background check on myself
get two transcripts, unopened
a copy of my diploma, which i don't have yet
i have to wait until late may until they process it and state on my transcripts that i have indeed graduated
damn me for waiting until now to apply
why couldn't i just do it back last year [sigh]
damn me for waiting until after the deadline
but at least i know for sure that i completed all my classes and all my grades
hooray for the little things

what else?
nothing really...
in the knit they have all been to japan except me which is sad
i want to go somewhere far away from here
if only i had monies
if only i can get my ass into motion and get my paperwork done =_=
if only...

what else?
quarter life trip...
i'm not there yet

what else?
i just feel like doing this :

Rules:
1. Put your iPod or other music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. The Name of the song is your answer!
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1.IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
No One - Alicia Keys

2.WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Figure.09 - Linkin Park

3.WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Oh No - Andrew Bird

4.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
I was a Kaleidoscope - Death Cab for Cutie

5.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
American Boy - Estelle

6.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Starlight - Muse

7. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
With or Without You - U2

8. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Right now - SR-17

9. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Absolutely Zero - Jason Mrax [how depressing haha]

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Bodysnatchers - Radiohead

11.WHAT IS 2+2?
Little of Your Time - Maroon 5

12.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Submarine Symphonika - The Submarines

13.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
In Pieces - Linkin Park

14.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tears and Rainbows - OLIVIA

15.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
PUMPKIN SOUP - Kate Nash

16.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
The Pretender - Foo Fighters

17.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
We Will Become Silhouettes - The Shins [what's with these repeat questions?]

18.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
You Me and the Bourgeois - The Submarines

19.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Miss America - Something Corporate

20.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
A Cold Wind Will Blow Through Your Door - Bill Ricchini

21.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Hit the Floor - Linkin Park

22.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Fortress - Pinback

23.WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Hands Held High - Linkin Park

24.HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Boulevard of Broken Songs - Party Ben

25.WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Conspiracy - Paramore

26.WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Story - Brandi Carlile

27.WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Welcome to Paradise - Green Day

28.WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Space - Something Corporate

29.WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Birds - Kate Nash

30.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Say - OneRepublic

31.IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
From the Inside - Linkin Park

32.WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Mouthwash - Kate Nash

33. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Out of My Head - Mobile

34. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Hands Open - Snow Patrol

35. WHAT WILL YOUR CHILD'S FIRST WORDS BE?
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails

36. WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR?
Leaves Out All the Rest - Linkin Park

37. WHAT DID YOU SAY IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
Speed of Sound - Coldplay

38.WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Dirty Cash - Big Bang


so bored. why am i up? i don't know